"wala na ko pake sa kanya" .. this happened before the party, the guys was teasing him to me and thats what he said. after hearing this from a friend yesterday, i cried again.
after 3 and a half years, im still in love with you. we both know that we have this mutual feeling. pero bakit ganun? why dont we work things out for us? para naman pareho tayong d nasasaktan. =[ im so fcuked up right now, depressed to be exact. after that party, i burst into tears. i cant understand him. bakit hindi nanaman kami nagusap or something? we just exchanged hi and hellos and thats it? gawd. during the whole party all we did was to make eye contacts and bump into each others shoulder. im so tired of these. we do these everytime there is a party or something. we looked like enemies. after months of not crying over that guy, my heart finally gave up and made me cry.
may 13, 2005 .. that whole day i was crying. i cant explain the pain that im feeling. im so heartbroken. and yet, i still cant let go of him. cause i know that we still have this feelings for each other. you can feel it naman if its thru right? why would he still do those eye contacts and bumping shoulders with me if he doesnt have right? he can have the guts already to talk with me pa kasi hes over with me. pero why? why cant he do those things? my friends says that he still has feelings but he's afraid. afraid? afraid of what? i think he's not afraid you know. he kept on doing those things because of his PRIDE AND REPUTATION. fcuk those!! my friends agree with me too, he doesnt talk with me, said bad things about us because he doesnt want to ruin his reputation to the public. plus this pride that he has!! =[ grabee.. and he always has these lame reasons if you ask him serious questions about love. like for example, why dont you court her? because ateneo is far away from csa. yeah, i understand, he's afraid of long distance relationships. but hello? why cant use that as his reason. ateneo? far from csa? eh he's always at csa nga eh. every friday pa nga. tapos during the weekends were always together. his visits to csa stopped when i was in 2nd year. but he does visit csa if theres an occasion or something. =[
i have this quote for him: "love is stronger than pride. so when you love someone, tell them to never let it go,it's better to lose your pride to someone you love than to lose your love because of your pride."
i wish he could read this. im trying to keep myself busy again. cause i dont wanna think of all the heartaches/problems. i'll get over this soon. i promise myself. but i dont know when. as i browse thru my files. i saw this file named, "letting go". i wonder how i got this file. so i viewed it and saw this story. i dont know how i got this. maybe, i got this from someone's blog. i really dont remember. if you own this, please let me know. btw, the reason why i got your post is that im so touched with it. i hope that someday i could let go of a person. so please dont get mad. =D i appreciate if you understand. =D i love this story. read it.
Of Letting Go and Being Happy
Just recently, I had to decide whether to give up something that is so precious to me. Ok. So its not something but someone. I do love him and I am happy with him but I cant be selfish. After all, his happiness is more important to me than mine. How can I be truly happy knowing that someone out there is having a hard time with the situation we are in right now?
So what did I do? I had to make the ultimate sacrifice. Forget my happiness and give him his. I set him free. Was it the right thing? I guess so. I hope so. See, it doesnt mean that when you let someone go you dont love him. Au contraire, it is actually the greatest act of love. Setting someone free to find what would give him the happiness you know you cant provide.
What about me? Will I be happy with my decision? Maybe not now but someday I will be especially when I see him make something good out of it. When I see that he has finally found the true happiness he is searching for. Even if it does mean that well never be together again.
I have to say goodbye to him even if it means getting hurt. I dont have to forget him or lose my love for him. He will always be in my heart till the pages in the book of my life run out. He will always be in my heart for the rest of my life.
There is something I have learned from all of this drama. When you let go of someone, you truly have to let go. Dont keep on holding on or else youll get dragged. That is more painful.
I dont have to worry about anything because, after all, if we really are for each other then we would end up together no matter what the odds are. If not, then Ill be thankful for the memories we had together. Maybe, someone out there is the right one for me and there would also be someone out there would be the right one for him, too.
We both have to move on and learn from what we had together. We can always look back and smile knowing that even for just a while we made each others life colorful. Who knows where well go to after this but Im grateful to him for making me grow up.
This isnt the end. Its just the beginning of a new chapter in my life, in both our lives. For myself, I think I can still be happy someday. Happiness doesnt have to depend on someone. I can make my own happiness. Its just that it isnt there right now. Maybe tomorrow I will be, or the day after tomorrow or the day after that. God knows when. God knows how.
many of you are asking what happened to the mayonnaise band. here's the reason, they were not available that day. =[ too bad.. =[ sayang. but the comedians was fun naman eh. =D im currently making a new layout for the site.. =D check it out. im gonna post it soon. =D check out this week's precious spot of the week. =D it's Lianne. she's a very very close online friend. =D love her. =D <3<3<3
a shoutout for Rap. thanxx so much for making me your spotlight of the week. =D
question to answer:
*this is andrea! carme, sino idol mo?? haha! tc! :):
- idol ko? marami eh. heheheh. it depends on what category. specific. =D takecare! =D
wow! 17 people laughed with me. thanxx guys!! =D <3
this paradise.
RESPECT. this is all i need and want from you guys. everything that is in here are mine.
and i want you to respect that. from my blogs, opinions, photos, layouts, and the list goes on.
feel free to go thru this blogsite. but please dont STEAL anything. its against GOD and the law.
im not being selfish. its just this is my property. this is CARME's. thanks for dropping by.
for link exchanges, let me know in the tag board/comment box and i promise to link you back. take care guys! =D
carmela frances pineda reyes. sweet sixteen. march 23. filipina. once an augustinian, always an augustinian. angel of mine. i so proud of my FAITH, HE is always GOOD to me. I LOVE YOU, MY LORD. <3's the beach, sun, tan lines, beach volleyball, surfing, wakeboarding, ultimate frisbee. wears abercrombie & fitch. always tuned in my iPod. im really into rnb, trance, house, chillout, reggae music. shopping, dancing, working out, blogging, & surfing the net are some of what i do often. parties. definitely a drinker but NOT a smoker. tequilas, vodkas & baileys in particular. but hey, i'm a good girl. a camera is a must. picture lover it is. never leave home w/o it. a big big fan of the o.c. adam brody. CONFIDENCE, cohen. haha. thinks that mtv's laguna beach is also cool. but i both love them. never fails to make you smile. <3
more of my paradise.
www.myspace.com/carme
mytwistedsunshine.multiply.com
imsointoyou.multiply.com
stagbarkada.multiply.com
stagbarkada.blogs.friendster.com
contact me.
AOL: carmelay17
GMAIL: fabulouscarme
MSN: carme_reyes
YM: creyes_17
Friendster: fabulouscarme@gmail.com
Myspace: click
shot under the sun.
in the house.
Ever After - Bonnie Bailey
Satisfaction - Benny Benasi
Love on the Run - Chicane
Lady - Moby
I'll Rise - Peyton
Excited - M People
Signs - Snoop Dogg feat. Justin Timberlake
Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani
Jimmy Choo - Shyne feat. Ashanti
Hold You Down - Jennifer Lopez feat. Fat Joe
Too Crazy - Southborder
Let's Get Blown - Snoop Dogg feat. Pharell
Hate it or Love it - Game feat 50 Cent
Cloud 9 - Olivia feat. 50 Cent
Disco Inferno - 50 Cent
Still Down - Ashanti feat. TI
Caught Up - Ja Rule feat. Llyod
Okay - Nivea feat. Lil John
Get Right Remix - Jennifer Lopez feat. Fabolous
I Used to Love You - John Legend feat. Kanye West
Lovers and Friends - Lil John feat. Eastside Boyz
Hush - LL Cool J
It's Like That - Mariah Carey
California - Phantom Planet
Dice - Finley Quaye
Just A Lil Bit - 50 Cent
Oye Mi Canto - Nina Sky
Everything - B2K
Technologic - Daft Punk
I Never Knew - Roger Sanchez
Goin' Crazy - Natalie
U Already Know Remix - 112 feat. Ja Rule
explore my world.
Abercrombie & Fitch
Abercrombie & Fitch Kids
Baby Phat
Banana Republic
Bebe
Billabong Girls
Boracay
CK
Candymag
ET Online
Frisbee
Gap
Havaianas
Hed Kandi
Hollister
iPod
Kamiseta
Kipling
Lacoste
Laguna Beach
Mango
Mudd
Nothing But Water
Old Navy
Puerto Galera
Punta Fuego
Ralph Lauren
Roxy
Seventeen
The OC<3
Tommy Hilfiger
Topshop
precious spot of the week.
JUNE 5-JUNE 11
SHARI! =D she's my friend since 2nd grade. we became bestfriends pa nga eh. beauty and brains itong friend ko. i miss hanging out with her. though were not as close as we used to be, im always here for her. she's still special. love you sha! =D congrats on getting hosted. =D mwah! =D
precious spots. a must visit.<3
[don't ask to be here]
* friends.*
Abi, loves janus. packner in crime.
Anil, future's best director.
Angela, another party freak.
Anj, my cousin's cousin.
Anna, fabulous princess.
Ayie, charming friend.
Bea, rebel girl.
Cat, kikay girl ren.
Celina, cute guitarist.
Emily, aug-con sister.
Gaux, beautiful singer.
Inna, very tall girl.
Jan, payatot.
Kat Manalo, flip chick.
Kat Marquez, my vocabulary/dictionary.
Kat Pineda, candy twin.
Lanna, friend way back.
Meanne, mz california.
Mia, she's frances too.
Mich, crazy mich.
Ms Gomez, very sweet and loving teacher.
Patrick, loves signature stuff.
Pauline, cali chick.
Pearl, intelligent girl.
Rams, party freak.
Ryan, tagalog ang blog niya.
Shai, hyper BUTT sexy!
Shari, could be kikay, could be vain.
Sher, aug-con ate.
Sims, friend way back.
Talisa, beach lover.
Tats, my f4 sister.
Tini, Jesus freak and cute chinita.
Tricia, volleyball buddy.
Xyra, beauty and fashion addict.
Yana, huggable one.
Ysel, everybody loves ysel.
* online friends. *
Ace, uh-huh. drained.
Alex, my wrestback.
Anna, a long lost blog buddy.
April, fashion guru.
Ariane, daddy's little girl. burpday girl.
Bianca, born to be host/model.
Bianca, from biancaknows.
Carme, my ate/twin.
Carmela, Cardona lover.
Charlene, realistic.
Cheenee. summer princess.
Chynna, miss congeniality.
Cjoy, tough girl.
Claire, miss orangey-black.
Claudine, beautiful rocker.
Dani, cute chinita.
Dottie, a sweetheart.
Gab, orange addict.
Gliza, the prinsesa.
Gretch, precious moments girl.
Hazel, Starbucks queen.
Hunny, so sweet.
Ida, we have the same birthday.
Iggy, she rocks.
Isha, madaldal daw siya.
Jared, trance buddy.
Jham, mysterious girl.
Justine, heartish heart.
Kiel, from obfuscation.org.
Kxia, emo writer.
Lai, master of webdesign.
Leanne, she's a bad star.
Lianne, miss Roxy addict.
Louie, very asteeg man.
Mary, simple girl.
Michelle, OC sister.
Mitch, not a bad girl.
Nate, the atenista.
Nicole, sassy chic.
Nikki, the trendsetter.
Pau, miss independent.
Pauleen, Spongeola lover.
Phoebe, the perfectionist.
Rad, pink misfit.
Rap, layout king.
Roxy, love her paradise.
Russ, my super-ate-woman.
Sarah, nunuh.
Shayne, shes flipped.
Trinnah, masungit? nope.
fellow beachcombers.
Abbie
Abyssinianangel
Ace
Acey
Aencille
Aichee
Aisa
Ak
Ala
Ana
Andrea
Angel
Angelbjei
Audrey
Audrie
Aura
Babyangel
Bianca
Caitlin
Camille
Charm
Chel
CSG
Denise
Dwight
Eka
Elise
Erica
Esther
Eyyah
Fia
Fran
Gabby
Gen
Guia
Hanna
Ian
Irish
Ishie
Ishisoda
Ivory
Ivy
Jami
Janna
Jem
Jesh
Jhiea
Joanna
Jowee
Kaila
Katherine
Ken
Kiko
Kiko
Kimy
Kristel
Kristen
Kristina
Laine
Leah
Lindsey
Loanne
Lora
Lucky
Lucy
Mabel
Marben
Mariah
Marla
Maroux
Meanne
Melissa
Michelle
Migy
Miko
Mimi
Mina
Mish
Moneh
Myke
Nadine
Nica
Nica
Nicole
Patty
Paula
Pea
Prue
Py
Rai
Reighyah
Richard
Rize
Rolly
Rose
Sam
Sandra
Sandra
Saruhh
Sayuri
Shai
Shen
Sheryl
Shona
Skwaryed
Therese
Tricia
Trina
Trixie
Verna
Wednesday
Xtel
Yamyam
Yanie
Yuki
"We're not asking for your money, we're asking for your voice."
Please support this campaign.
The ONE Campaign is a new effort to rally Americans to
fight the emergency of global AIDS and extreme poverty.
Each ONE of us can make a difference.
Together as ONE we can change the world.
We can beat AIDS, starvation, and extreme poverty.
ONE billion people live on less than ONE dollar a day.
ONE by ONE, we can help them help themselves.
ONE VOTE. ONE VOICE.
they NEED our support NOW.
click on the link above and add your signature to the ONE declaration.
message in the sand.
past rants.
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
December 2005
previous post.
dwight+friends+party+bonding+food+comedians = FUN!...
shopping again???? =D
the dream. =D
meeting. bonding. laughing. eating. hottneess!! =D
stupidity. saying "iloveyou ____ " =D
wala lang. =D hehehehe.
finally enrolled nako! =D another shopping galore!...
new layout again =D
hate me? hate you. hate everything.
boredom =[ dream vacation. overnight hotels. =D
last comments.